Virginistas
by pastel daisies
Summary: "Just admit it, Sasuke-kun, you're a total virgin." "Am not." "He totally is." Because we all know Sasuke is in total denial. AU. Semi-Crack. SasuSaku.


**A/N:**_ Wow, sorry guys but tonight is drabble night. Anyways, enjoy! _

* * *

><p><strong>• VIRGINISTAS •<strong>

* * *

><p>A feminine laugh cut through the tension-thick silence filled by the three friends. Veins popped. Grins widened. Ray bans pulled down over eyes lazily.<p>

"Am _not_."

Snort.

"Riiight, sure darling." Shuffle. Cough. Wider grins.

"He totally _is."_

_"Am not._"

"De-nial!" Came the sing song response. Larger vein popped. Snickering. Death glare. Silence. Sakura huffed and closed her eyes, chuffed.

"Just admit it, Sasuke, you're a total _virgin_."

"I am _not_."

Naruto snickered once more, this time, ignoring Sasuke's death glares aimed perfectly in his direction.

"The closest he's come to banging a girl was when he brushed thumbs with the barista at Starbucks to get his coffee." Naruto confessed, and held a hand to his stomach, letting out another laugh. Sakura giggled, also ignoring Sasuke's look of death and adjusted her sunglasses perched lazily on the bridge of her nose.

"To-ta-l virgin." She stressed and let out another string of giggles. There was a yelp, as Sasuke's hand swiftly moved out to shove Naruto off the bed he was lying on. He fell to the floor, hand clutching his head.

"Dammit, teme!" He yelled, and Sasuke smirked in triumph. Sakura popped her gum and rolled her eyes.

"Figures", she muttered, "he'd rather push them out of his bed than bring em in."

Sasuke's lip twitched, and he swung on his other best friend, eyeing her murderously.

"I am _not a virgin_." He spat, and pushed away Naruto's hands, as the blond weakly tried to get back on the bed. He fell back down onto the ground with a groan, but still let out a chuckle. Sakura crossed her legs and leaned forward, her face up in Sasuke's space. His eye twitched once more as she raised her fingers to her sunglasses, pulling them down her nose so her eyes met Sasuke's. She popped her gum again.

"_Prove it_." She challenged him, and Sasuke swallowed. He pulled away and crossed his arms, his eyes falling shut in a frown.

"Hn." Sakura sat back, arms behind her head and sighed victoriously.

"Exactly." She said, and blew another bubble. Naruto crawled around to the side of the bed that Sakura was perched on and got up onto the soft mattress, steering clear of Sasuke. He sat closer to Sakura and leaned against the bed frame.

"Face it, teme, you're as pure-er than Hinata-chan." Sasuke's eye twitched, and he glared murderously at the blond man. Oh _hell no._ He was not _that_ virginal. He opened his mouth to retort, or possibly to curse out the blond, but Sakura cut him off, her gum popping again. He popped another vein.

"How far have you gone with a girl, Sasuke-kun?" She pondered, and he blushed, looking away from her and Naruto's curious gazes.

"Third base." He muttered, and Sakura howled out in laughter, Naruto following suit. He frowned deeper, refusing to meet their eyes, his arms crossed once more. Kami, he did not need this right now. Slowly, Sakura stopped laughing, her hands holding her sides, and Naruto panted, also stopping his fit of giggles.

"Aint that a lie, Sasu-cakes." Sakura murmured, and Sasuke gritted his teeth.

"Rin Ayame. 10th grade." He provided, and looked back at them. Sakura raised an eyebrow at him and put her sunglasses on her head. She blew another bubble with her gum, letting the pop utter through the silence. Naruto bit back a laugh, deciding to let Sakura have this one.

"She was at our school for a week." Sakura chided, and Sasuke gritted his teeth once more.

"Kaya Fa. 9th grade."

"She was a lesbian." Naruto piped in, and Sakura nodded in acceptance. Sasuke growled.

"Miyuki Yukaya. 7th grade." Sakura snorted.

"Irrelevant." Sasuke gave up.

"Whatever." He sighed and leaned back against the bed pillows, ignoring the victory fist bumps that Sakura and Naruto exchanged. He was happy to have the silence back, but Naruto's happy voice broke it once more and Sasuke was ready to deliver a punch to his grinning face.

"So you accept it then, teme, you are a complete and utter virgin." Sasuke frowned.

"No."

Sakura and Naruto exchanged looks.

"We need to get him laid." She whispered, and another vein popped in Sasuke's head. Oh _hell no-_

"Agreed. Let's hit up Starbucks." Sakura nodded.

* * *

><p>After forty-five minutes of heated arguments, dragging and slaps, Sasuke was dragged out of their apartment and towards the nearest coffee shop. He scowled, ignoring Sakura's persistent, strong grip on his wrist as she dragging him behind her, Naruto leading the pack inside. He seated the three of them at a table, and Naruto scoured the coffee shop as Sakura went to get drinks. As soon as she was out of hearing distance, Sasuke folded his arms and glared at his best friend.<p>

"Did it ever occur to you that I don't _want _to get laid?" Naruto chuckled. _  
><em>

"Every eighteen year old guy wants a piece of ass, Sasuke-teme." Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked towards Sakura, his gaze falling on her ass. He quickly snapped his gaze away when she turned around with their orders in hand, ignoring Naruto's widening grin and sudden revelation.

"Hey, Sakura-chan!" He called as Sakura approached them. She handed Sasuke his cup and then shoved Naruto his. She plopped down between the two at the table and took a sip of her drink, making a noise in Naruto's direction, indicating that she was listening to him. She pulled out her phone as she waited for Naruto to respond, ignoring Sasuke's sudden silence and very indicative death glare at Naruto.

"I know who we can set teme up with." Naruto's grin turned dirty, secretive, and Sakura looked up at him, arching an eyebrow. She put her phone down and leaned towards Naruto, completely curious now.

"Do tell." She purred, drumming her manicured nails on the tabletop. She heard Sasuke grunt from beside her. Naruto shrugged.

"Tell ya later." He took a sip of his coffee, and Sakura frowned, kicking him under the table. She went back to her phone, and sipped her coffee. The three enjoyed the minutes of silence as Sakura quickly typed out a flurry of text messages, before slipping her phone into her back pocket and looking around the cafe. She drummed her fingers back on the table, eyeing every girl at tables, in line, ordering, everyone. She nudged her knee to Sasuke's under the table and he grunted once more. She pointed past Naruto at a girl in the corner.

"Her. She drinks decaf, looks pretty, is alone, nice ass.. hmm.. I think she's a good one, right Naruto?" Naruto turned around to look at her and nodded, turning back to meet Sasuke's eyes.

"A total 8 and a half, teme." He agreed, and Sasuke scowled at the two. Sakura resumed her searching.

"Oh! Over by the window, to your left. Pretty face, slightly skinny, but she's got a waist. I'd say a bold 7 out of 10." Naruto hummed in agreement and Sasuke sighed, putting his hand down on the table with a slow thump.

"I don't want to get laid." He gritted out. Sakura raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged.

"Whatever you say, virgin-ista." She continued to drink her coffee. Sasuke's eye twitched, but he decided to let that name slip this one time.

* * *

><p>They finished their coffee, and Sasuke departed from the other two, claiming to have a class in a few minutes, and disappeared. Sakura raised an eyebrow and nudged Naruto, who jumped, and looked at her.<p>

"He's practically dripping with _sexual tension_." Naruto laughed at her comment.

"Agreed." Sakura linked her arm through his and directed him back to their apartment.

"So who did you wanna tell me was the perfect girl for Sasuke?" She asked, and Naruto swallowed awkwardly, rubbing his neck.

"Ah, it was a dumb thought, don't worry about it, Sakura-chan!" She shrugged.

"Alright."

* * *

><p>Sasuke was sat in his Psychology class, head leaned back as he took slow notes, when his phone buzzed in his pockets. He sighed and pulled it out, looking at the recipient. He frowned, a small blush coming to his cheeks at the same time.<p>

**From: Queen Sakura**

_**Turn down the virgin tension, I can feel it from the apartment.**_**  
><strong>

His lip twitched. He didn't even know where to start with the message. First of all, the contact name. She had grabbed a hold of his phone one day while they were lounging around in his room, and changed her contact name. He had wrestled his phone back and acted like he changed it back, but in all reality, he liked it. He swallowed, and quickly typed back his response, putting his phone back in his pocket, knowing she would respond in seconds.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, as she checked her phone, letting out a laugh.

**From: Sassy-cakes**

_**Go away.**_

How creative of him. She smirked and typed back, kicking her leg off of her bed, lounging out across the pillows. She yawned and waited for him to respond.

**From: Queen Sakura**

_**Come on, sassy-cakes, you know you love me. & judging by your ability to text me back, I can tell your class is very boring. **_

**.**

**From: Sassy-cakes**

_**Tch. **_

_**I'm still not a virgin.**_

_**.**_

**From: Queen Sakura**

_**Whatever you say, babe.**_

_**.**_

**From: Sassy-cakes**

_**Why did you even text me anyways? I'm busy. **_

_**.**_

**From: Queen Sakura**

_**Bored. **_

_**.**_

**From: Sassy-cakes**

_**Wait til class ends and I'll keep you occupied.**_

Sakura choked. Did he just.. _flirt_ with her? She blushed and stared at the message with wide eyes. Sure, she had had a thing for Sasuke ever since they were little, but she didn't let him know, because she figured he wasn't into her. Or gay. Or asexual. She stared at the message again, chewing her gum slowly. Her fingers shakingly tapped out a response.

Sasuke blushed, looking at the message he just sent. He hadn't meant to come off as flirty as he did, but it was too late now. He watched the small bubble appear as she typed a response back, his heart pounding.

**From: Queen Sakura**

_**Leave class early. It's about time you lost your virginity. **_

Sasuke coughed, choking on his spit and quickly packed up this things, leaving class early. He hurried out of the building and down the street, not caring to answer her back. He made it to the apartment door and hesitated, key in hand, ready to unlock the door. He blushed, not knowing how to approach such a situation that he had gotten himself into. He slowly unlocked the door and stepped in, closing it behind him. He made his way into his room shakily, dropping his books on his desk and turned to exit his room, when he ran head on into Sakura. He opened his mouth to speak, but her hands came out to push him onto the bed.

She straddled his hips, her lips pressing themselves heatedly onto his. He kissed back hungrily, his hands coming to grip her hips, holding her in place. She pulled back, gasping for breath, her cheeks pink to his red ones.

"So you've been to first base at least." He nodded slowly. She gripped his hands and moved them to the buttons of her shirt, her own fingers pulling open his thin material.

"Then we'll start at second." She agreed as his fingers slowly undid her shirt, slipping her out of it. His lips crashed onto hers once more. He was getting into the kiss, his tongue snaking out to meet hers, when she pulled away from him, raising her eyebrow. His fingers hesitated at her buttons as she stopped.

"Does that mean you _are _a virgin then?" She asked cutely, and Sasuke rolled his eyes, pulling her back down to his lips.

* * *

><p>The three of them were lounging around in Naruto's room this time, Sakura lying down, one leg strewn over Sasuke's legs, the other hanging over Naruto's bed frame, Sasuke criss-cross on Naruto's bed, Naruto lying down. Sakura popped her gum, and closed her eyes.<p>

"So teme, found a girl to bang yet?" Sakura stopped chewing her gum and found a small blush appear on her cheeks. Sasuke blushed too and swallowed.

"Ah.. Naruto.. Sasuke's _really _not a-" Sakura started, but Naruto cut her off.

"He totally is still a virgin, Sakura-chan!" Sasuke smirked, trying to rid himself of his blush.

"Try again, dobe." Naruto frowned and then raised an eyebrow.

"Eh? You can't not be! You haven't been out since we took you to Starbucks-" his eyes widened as he looked back and forth between his best friends, taking in their matching, awkward stances, blushing cheeks and bitten lips. Slowly, he began to realize what was happening.

"Oh..oh oh _oh oh OH!" _He pointed an accusing finger at the two of them, shakingly.

"Y-YOU GUYS-" He started, but couldn't finish his sentence. Sasuke reached across the bed to press his fingers to Sakura's intertwining them. Sakura nodded sheepishly. She waited for Naruto to yell at them, but instead, he started laughing loudly, holding his stomach. Sasuke frowned and Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Naruto-" She started, but Naruto held up a hand, and calmed himself down, nodding.

"Thank Kami, Sakura-chan! You don't know how long Sasuke-teme has been staring at your ass-" He stopped, seeing that the two of them exchanged glances and blushed, looking away quickly. He grinned in victory, and put his arms behind his head, closing his eyes.

_Case closed_.


End file.
